Funny Berg Stories
21 Mar 2013 07:04 - 21 Mar 2013 20:17 #56332
by Serious tribe
Funny Berg Stories was created by Serious tribe
I thought it might be interesting to see if others have had funny experiences in the berg. As it is my thread, I will start the ball rolling. This is taken from my book 'Catching the Light'.
On any hiking trip there is the potential for hilarious incidents to take place. You are in a relaxed environment away from home, with a bunch of idiosyncratic and like-minded individuals. Sometimes the incident can start off quite frightening – but when out of the danger, you can look back at it and have a good laugh. There are a number of funny experiences that have really stuck in my mind, collected over the past sixteen years of hiking, which I’d like to share with you.
One of the first trips that I planned and led was to the Cobham area in the Southern Drakensberg. It was during this trip that two of the funniest incidents occurred. There were nine of us on that trip, which was quite a large group, given that we had to find caves large enough to accommodate us all. Fortunately, the area has many large caves, and I eventually settled on Spectacle Cave for the first night and the almost palatial Gxalingenwa Cave for our last evening. On the first night, after having restored order to our wet gear and ourselves after a chaotic dash during a huge hailstorm to the cave, we were all sitting around our makeshift kitchen preparing dinner. The scene was one of domestic culinary bliss – the purr of camping Gaz stoves, the small blue flames heating pots of water, rising steam and the aromas of cooking pasta and mince. Some were adding the final spices to give it a kick or salt to taste. Jason grabbed one of the used film canisters filled with the pasta sauce zest and tipped the contents into his (and his dad’s) boiling pasta.
Immediately the entire contents proceeded to foam up and spill out all over the cave floor. ‘Jason!’ bellowed his dad, Neville. The shout jolted us out of our bewilderment as to why their pasta suddenly looked like a giant foam bath. “That was dish washing soap, not salt. You can see you come from your mother’s side of the family!” Jason’s jaw dropped in disbelief, as he looked around him in shocked confusion. He valiantly protested his innocence that the containers had no labels, that it was dark and that this was really not his fault. Of course, the rest of us joined Neville in jokingly reprimanding Jason for his stupidity. Fortunately, there was plenty of food to go around and we shared our meals with them. Jason has broad shoulders and just shrugged it off good-naturedly.
The next night after a long day in very rainy and miserable conditions, we were ensconced at Gxalingenwa Cave. Before going to bed, dad had placed his boots near the still hot remains of the fire. Did I say fire in a cave? Tsk, tsk! We were good though, and only used dead wood and cleaned it all up nicely afterwards. I hasten to add that this was the one and only time that I have ever lit a fire in a Drakensberg Cave. Anyway, back to the story.
In the middle of the night, yours truly gets up and decides he needs to have a pee. Of course without my glasses I am a bit blind, so rather than stumbling in the dark, I walk toward the still glowing coals and think that it would make a suitable aiming point. Half asleep, and leaning on the wall of the cave I hear the sound of liquid hitting the hot coals. Of course I don’t notice that the pitch changes as the boots move into the firing line! Abruptly I was woken out of my stupor by my dad’s shout of “Karl you’re peeing on my boots”, swiftly followed by Steve’s cry of “ Ha, Ha, Piss in Boots!” At which the entire cave, who were by now awake, roared with laughter and took up the cry. And for many hiking trips thereafter, this story would surface, to be met with peals of laughter. In fact it seems that all my friends know the story, hiking or otherwise.
Hope it brought some laughter to your morning.
On any hiking trip there is the potential for hilarious incidents to take place. You are in a relaxed environment away from home, with a bunch of idiosyncratic and like-minded individuals. Sometimes the incident can start off quite frightening – but when out of the danger, you can look back at it and have a good laugh. There are a number of funny experiences that have really stuck in my mind, collected over the past sixteen years of hiking, which I’d like to share with you.
One of the first trips that I planned and led was to the Cobham area in the Southern Drakensberg. It was during this trip that two of the funniest incidents occurred. There were nine of us on that trip, which was quite a large group, given that we had to find caves large enough to accommodate us all. Fortunately, the area has many large caves, and I eventually settled on Spectacle Cave for the first night and the almost palatial Gxalingenwa Cave for our last evening. On the first night, after having restored order to our wet gear and ourselves after a chaotic dash during a huge hailstorm to the cave, we were all sitting around our makeshift kitchen preparing dinner. The scene was one of domestic culinary bliss – the purr of camping Gaz stoves, the small blue flames heating pots of water, rising steam and the aromas of cooking pasta and mince. Some were adding the final spices to give it a kick or salt to taste. Jason grabbed one of the used film canisters filled with the pasta sauce zest and tipped the contents into his (and his dad’s) boiling pasta.
Immediately the entire contents proceeded to foam up and spill out all over the cave floor. ‘Jason!’ bellowed his dad, Neville. The shout jolted us out of our bewilderment as to why their pasta suddenly looked like a giant foam bath. “That was dish washing soap, not salt. You can see you come from your mother’s side of the family!” Jason’s jaw dropped in disbelief, as he looked around him in shocked confusion. He valiantly protested his innocence that the containers had no labels, that it was dark and that this was really not his fault. Of course, the rest of us joined Neville in jokingly reprimanding Jason for his stupidity. Fortunately, there was plenty of food to go around and we shared our meals with them. Jason has broad shoulders and just shrugged it off good-naturedly.
The next night after a long day in very rainy and miserable conditions, we were ensconced at Gxalingenwa Cave. Before going to bed, dad had placed his boots near the still hot remains of the fire. Did I say fire in a cave? Tsk, tsk! We were good though, and only used dead wood and cleaned it all up nicely afterwards. I hasten to add that this was the one and only time that I have ever lit a fire in a Drakensberg Cave. Anyway, back to the story.
In the middle of the night, yours truly gets up and decides he needs to have a pee. Of course without my glasses I am a bit blind, so rather than stumbling in the dark, I walk toward the still glowing coals and think that it would make a suitable aiming point. Half asleep, and leaning on the wall of the cave I hear the sound of liquid hitting the hot coals. Of course I don’t notice that the pitch changes as the boots move into the firing line! Abruptly I was woken out of my stupor by my dad’s shout of “Karl you’re peeing on my boots”, swiftly followed by Steve’s cry of “ Ha, Ha, Piss in Boots!” At which the entire cave, who were by now awake, roared with laughter and took up the cry. And for many hiking trips thereafter, this story would surface, to be met with peals of laughter. In fact it seems that all my friends know the story, hiking or otherwise.
Hope it brought some laughter to your morning.
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21 Mar 2013 19:10 - 22 Mar 2013 06:14 #56336
by ghaznavid
Replied by ghaznavid on topic Funny Berg Stories
Great idea ST!
Some good stories so far, can't wait to hear some more.
Strangely enough, I don't recall any funny events from hiking trips I have been on. Funny quotes aside that is... I wish I wrote down Joanne's comment about "filling her bladder" on the GT qualifying hike, it was so funny, but I can't remember what she said
Ok - really off topic comments:
Some good stories so far, can't wait to hear some more.
Strangely enough, I don't recall any funny events from hiking trips I have been on. Funny quotes aside that is... I wish I wrote down Joanne's comment about "filling her bladder" on the GT qualifying hike, it was so funny, but I can't remember what she said
Ok - really off topic comments:
Warning: Spoiler!
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21 Mar 2013 20:19 #56338
by Serious tribe
Replied by Serious tribe on topic Funny Berg Stories
Hey guys keep to topic this is for hiking stories, not a and other. 
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21 Mar 2013 20:23 - 21 Mar 2013 20:25 #56339
by Stijn
Replied by Stijn on topic Funny Berg Stories
OK then... back to Berg/Hiking stories.
Andrew and I were leading a large group of 14 hikers (UCT Mountain & Ski Club) on a 6-day winter hike from Sentinel to Cathedral Peak via Fangs Pass, Mnweni Pass and the Bell Traverse. We were heading down the Bell Traverse on the last day and had perhaps been away from civilisation a tad long when we took the decision to war paint our faces with a patch of mud we found.
Later that day, one of our party had her knee pop out on the ascent of Cathedral Peak - this had happened to her before and she was able to pop it back into place but walking had become pretty excruciating for her. Right on time, the Cathedral Peak tourist helicopter circled the peak and landed in its usual place on the shoulder. Andrew and I ran over from Bugger Gulch Gully to beg a lift down for our injured hiker. After explaining our story to the pilot, he was more than happy to help.
The passengers, who were by now sipping on their champagne, asked us where we had hiked from. From that point there is an awesome view of the entire Mnweni area and I proudly pointed out our route amongst the spectacular peaks and ridges stretching into the distance. An awkward silence followed, after which one of the ladies in the group piped up (cue Sandton kugel accent): But where do you bath???
Andrew and I were leading a large group of 14 hikers (UCT Mountain & Ski Club) on a 6-day winter hike from Sentinel to Cathedral Peak via Fangs Pass, Mnweni Pass and the Bell Traverse. We were heading down the Bell Traverse on the last day and had perhaps been away from civilisation a tad long when we took the decision to war paint our faces with a patch of mud we found.
Later that day, one of our party had her knee pop out on the ascent of Cathedral Peak - this had happened to her before and she was able to pop it back into place but walking had become pretty excruciating for her. Right on time, the Cathedral Peak tourist helicopter circled the peak and landed in its usual place on the shoulder. Andrew and I ran over from Bugger Gulch Gully to beg a lift down for our injured hiker. After explaining our story to the pilot, he was more than happy to help.
The passengers, who were by now sipping on their champagne, asked us where we had hiked from. From that point there is an awesome view of the entire Mnweni area and I proudly pointed out our route amongst the spectacular peaks and ridges stretching into the distance. An awkward silence followed, after which one of the ladies in the group piped up (cue Sandton kugel accent): But where do you bath???
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22 Mar 2013 06:19 - 25 Mar 2013 08:12 #56340
by ghaznavid
above post edited - hope that's better...
Wouldn't be a post by me if it wasn't off topic
Ok - a funny kind of on topic photo:
That is what a backpack looks like on GT on a sunny day... Clothes line/backpack, same thing...
Replied by ghaznavid on topic Funny Berg Stories
Serious tribe wrote: Hey guys keep to topic this is for hiking stories, not a and other.
above post edited - hope that's better...Wouldn't be a post by me if it wasn't off topic
Ok - a funny kind of on topic photo:
That is what a backpack looks like on GT on a sunny day... Clothes line/backpack, same thing...
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25 Mar 2013 11:18 - 25 Mar 2013 11:20 #56366
by ghaznavid
Replied by ghaznavid on topic Funny Berg Stories
A climber shouts to his partner "I think you love rocks so much that they've replaced your brain."
A hiker once said "It's all fun and oneness with nature until you realize you can't have diarrhea and vomit at the same time without an extra bucket."
"To qualify for mountain rescue work, you have to pass our test. The doctor holds a flashlight to your ear. If he can see light coming out the other one, you qualify." — Willi Pfisterer
Ok - and back to being off topic, here are some climbing definitions (hidden in a spoiler again ):
A hiker once said "It's all fun and oneness with nature until you realize you can't have diarrhea and vomit at the same time without an extra bucket."
"To qualify for mountain rescue work, you have to pass our test. The doctor holds a flashlight to your ear. If he can see light coming out the other one, you qualify." — Willi Pfisterer
Ok - and back to being off topic, here are some climbing definitions (hidden in a spoiler again
):
Warning: Spoiler!
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