Funny Berg Stories

Intrepid's story has reminded me of what happened on my second overnight hike.

Myself and 2 friends decided to go up Mzimude Pass and down Mashai Pass in 2 days (lol - some day I'll actually do Mzimude Pass).

Anyway we had enough food between the 3 of us to last a few weeks. We had about 3 bags of biscuits, a full packet of apples, over 1kg of nuts and tons of other stuff. I even had a solar powered cellphone charger

Needless to say, when your pack is that heavy and made up of 3 beginners you end up not getting anywhere near the goal. We got close to the base of Mzimude Pass (with the goal of overnighting in Mzimude Cave). It was getting late so we decided to overnight in the nearest cave and head up the next morning.

We looked at the map and realised that we were close to Curtain Cave. None of us knew where or what Curtain Cave was, and there above us was a massive overhang that looked a lot like a curtain.

We slogged up the bank to find a less than flat floor on a really well sheltered cave. Someone had clearly made a fire in the cave at some point and some straw was on the ground. We cleared the larger rocks and made some sleeping areas.

In the morning I looked over the incredibly misty valley, and realised that my backpack that was my pillow when I went to bed was now well over a metre above me, I was still in the cave, but must have gradually slid down the steep bank during the night. If I was able to post a photo I have one that shows what I mean, it was one unflat cave!

When I got home I went onto berg.co.za and looked up Curtain Cave and realised that we were actually in an unmarked cave. The 3 of us discussed a name for it and eventually settled on "I'm sure its not a" cave.

We did a "video monologue" effort by rotation (talking for about 5 minutes each more or less every hour, rotating between the 3 of us). Most of the footage was lost when the one guy's camera fell in the river and the SD card got corrupted, but I recently watched the videos that survived - it was really funny. Incidentally the first time I ever did Movember. The comments regarding prostate cancer awareness were particularly odd...

Well it looks like after Intrepid's car adventure I will have to add our one.

Late in the year 2000, Brad and I did a trip up the Chain Ladder and camped at Ribbon Falls, one of the many smaller rivers that plunge over the 900 metre high Amphitheatre wall. The trip was largely uneventful although I got some good images. However, it was only when we arrived back at the Sentinel car park that things got really interesting. We had had some severe thunderstorms while we were out in the mountains, and water had trickled in through the car’s windscreen and shorted the electrical circuitry of the alarm and immobiliser. So the car was not going anywhere! Fortunately I am a member of the Automobile Association, and after eventually managing to get mobile phone signal, we arranged a tow truck. This was about four 'o clock in the afternoon.

At about eight 'o clock that night, after we had exhausted every hiking story and our remaining meagre hiking rations, we contacted the tow operator again just to see where he was, and he assured us he was on his way. An hour later, he contacted us to make sure of the directions as he was beginning to run out of tar road, and was concerned that the terrain looked rather mountainous. We confirmed he was on the right track and urged him to continue until he ran out of road. A half hour later we heard his vehicle labouring up the final hill to the car park and walked to meet him as he came through the gate. He was rather agitated and said that if it was not for the fact that the mountain road was too narrow to turn his vehicle around, he would have turned back. Thank goodness for narrow mountain roads! In the glare of the swivel light we loaded Brad’s bakkie onto the back of the flatbed trailer and tied it down – as there was no space in the cab for us, we climbed into the bakkie and got ready for an interesting ride back to Harrismith.

Things got even more interesting at this point. At the first major incline we came to, the vehicle did not have the power to pull the combined weight of the trailer and our bakkie up the hill, try as it might. So we all piled out of the vehicles, rolled the bakkie off the trailer, unhitched the trailer, and then attached a tow-rope to the bakkie and pulled that up the hill. We then slowly reversed the tow-truck past the bakkie down the hill, reattached the flatbed trailer and drove back up the hill. The bakkie was then winched back onto the flatbed and the trip started again. Fortunately, there were only two other hills where we had to do this. Now that the driver knew about the problem, the other smaller hills were defeated by gunning the engine of the tow truck and roaring up them.

We finally arrived in Harrismith at about eleven thirty that night, dropped the car in the hotel parking lot, and went to find some food. The Spur Steakranch staff, who were busy cleaning and mopping up, thankfully took pity on two verytired and hungry hikers. Fortunately they had yet to clean the grill and South Africans being as friendly and helpful as they are, they quickly provided us with burgers and chips.

Almost three years later we were hiking in the same area and had again parked the same bakkie in the Sentinel car park for the weekend. When we arrived back at the car, it would not start. I looked at Brad to see if he was just pulling my leg. But no, I had left the driving lights on and the battery was flat! Fortunately right on cue, a truck carrying huge wind machines pulled into the parking area, followed by a bevy of beauties, photographers and directors – they were here to do a fashion shoot in the snow, only there was no snow left. However more interesting to us than the bevy of beauties, was that the truck had big portable double battery systems, and soon enough we had the bakkie started and were heading for home, leaving the fashion shoot director wondering where he was going to find some snow!

To have a look at the book go here www.blurb.com/b/3981063-catching-the-light

Hiking Clubs and Smugglers

I have often explained on guided trips how most indigenous rural people in Africa find it difficult to understand why anyone would walk anywhere for pleasure. For most rural Africans a journey must have a practical purpose. To collect water, fuel, herd animals or go to and from their fields. When hiking in Lesotho, we are often stopped and asked ‘where we are going?’, and then ‘why?' When we reply that we are climbing the mountain to ‘look at the view’ this is met with a mixture of perplexity and incredulity.

While relaxing at Sani Mountain Lodge after a hike to Hodgson’s Peaks the other day, in walked a group of about twelve or fourteen male and female hikers dressed in the latest up-to-date hiking kit, complete with large overnight packs, tents and sleeping bags. They had just completed a tough three or four day ‘High Traverse’ along the top of the Drakensberg, through some very inclement weather including snow and high winds.

Nothing strange about that you think?

Except that they were all Basotho people, members of a hiking club from their capital Maseru! It turns out that their club has about thirty members and is active most weekends!

A few days later in general conversation, a hiking friend happened to remark, that the dagga (marijuana) smugglers in Lesotho 'must be making lots of money these days' as he had seen a party of smugglers behind the Drakensberg escarpment wearing really good hiking kit, one of them in particular wearing a jacket he would have liked for himself! I asked how he knew they were dagga smugglers? He replied 'because they were carrying large bags… but they were friendly, and they returned my greetings!'…

When questioned further, it turned out that he was hiking exactly where the Thaphoha Hiking Club from Maseru would have been on their traverse to Sani Top...!

My funny story happened to a hiking friend we will call ‘John’. He told me his story first hand and it will cause laughs for many years to come.
John went on his first Drakensberg hike with a group from our local hiking club November before last. Fortunately it was November.
They left Didima campsite at 7am in the morning and headed up Mike’s Pass, across and down Phillip’s Folly where they lunched, and then up Tlanyaku Pass after lunch. It was a strong group but they were all tired when they topped out and looking forward to warm food and a warmer bed.
John was sharing a tent with a female hiking friend, and this being his first berg hike he was of course, on his best behaviour.
Just after they made camp, the heavens opened, and rain and mist came in. To his utmost dismay, when he should have been deep in the land of nod, John felt the call of nature. Not just a need for a quick wiz behind the tent, but the need to dig out his little kit for digging holes. He tried to resist the call, but by 11pm he could wait no longer, and crept out of the tent with his little bag of goodies after pulling on a jersey and track pants.
It was misty outside and he set off towards what he remembered was a rocky area not too far off. Far enough away for him not to disturb fellow hikers with his ablutions. Relief.
Now, to head back to a warm tent.....this way presumably.......but oh dear, he had strayed the wrong way. Back to the rocks and head a little to the left, a little to the right. No tents. The mist had turned into a drizzle. No rain gear and it was getting cold. Little forays in each direction revealed nothing. Eventually he relented and started calling his fellow hikers. By name, one by one. No one answered. It was dead quiet. He was afraid to wonder to far from the rocks which he was now familiar with. In order to warm up he started running and jumping on the spot.
The drizzle continued through the night and the mist got thicker. John ran, jumped and hopped his way through the night, calling out at regular intervals. No one replied.
At some time around 4.30am with first light, he dared to head out a bit further and at last! Tents! All quiet and peaceful. Thankfully he crawled into the tent he was sharing, waking his tent mate. She asked him if he had been gone a little long.....he replied about 5-6 hours! She had slept through the whole thing. The rest of the group later mumbled they had heard ‘ Basotho’s’ calling throughout the night and decided to keep quiet so as not to attract attention!
The weather conditions worsened in the morning and the group retraced their steps.
At the hiking club meeting the next month ‘John” was handed a ball of string to add to his kit.

Jax wrote: At the hiking club meeting the next month ‘John” was handed a ball of string to add to his kit.

Classic

That must have been an ugly experience for "John" at the time. I remember when myself and another GT member were struggling to find our tents in failing light, not the most pleasant experience I have ever had.

The ‘Solo Hiking Club’ really does exist. An increasing number of hikers are subscribing to its concepts, and it has more and more ‘sections’ all over the country, although each ‘section’ has only one member, no committee, no boring and long-winded committee meetings and no subscriptions. There is always someone willing to do the organizing, the club only has the best leaders, their routes are well thought out, and the hikes are always well attended!

This story is meant to be a parody on the predictable and sometimes quite boring write-ups in hiking club newsletters…


The Solo Hiking Club

Report on a day hike to the Mkomazi area, Southern Drakensberg


Contributor: Philip.

Fellow hikers were: Philip.

We set off from Philip’s house at about 6.45am, and for once everyone was ready on time. The drive to the Mkomazi EKZN Wildlife office was exactly 46kms and took about an hour. The roads through the Inzinga area were reasonable and the drive attractive, with some good views along the way. After paying our day entrance fee we started the climb of some 700m to McKenzie’s Caves.

Philip set just the right pace, and stopped to look around often. The scenery was magnificent, and the weather perfect, if a little hot. Philip thoughtfully stopped in the shade of a large sandstone rock for a while, where we shared an orange.

Because we had agreed amongst ourselves not to talk on the hike, we saw more wildlife than usual, getting close to Duiker, Baboon and Grey Rhebuck, as well as spotting a Jackal Buzzard, and some Ground Woodpeckers.

It took about two and a half hours to reach the cave, exploring some other overhangs along the way.

The cave itself is deep with enough space for about eight to ten hikers to sleep comfortably. There is a small stream nearby and the general outlook is good, with attractive sandstone formations all around. The flowers in the area are prolific.

We stopped for tea. Philip made us a wonderfully refreshing brew, just the right strength, and just the right amount of sugar and milk. We also ate some of Philip’s wife’s legendary sandwiches and delved into the lunch box she had made for us.

After leaving the cave, Philip led us up a small peak nearby to admire the view. We could see the Drakensberg escarpment from Bushman’s Nek through to Champagne Castle and the Monk’s Cowl area, with Giant’s Castle dominating the skyline.

On the way up the steep climb, Philip stopped often to allow us to rest and contemplate the views. He even helped us over the more difficult sections. He is such a kind and thoughtful leader!

We then decided to hike an extended circuit around and over some attractive open grassland, crossing a small river and down another ridge, marked on the map as a ‘way to go’. It was so nice to be part of a hiking group who instantly and enthusiastically agreed with the leader’s suggestions, with no complaints or questions like “do we have to go all the way up THERE?!”

Unfortunately, although it was hot, we were unable to find a pool large enough for swimming, but if we had I know Philip would have been in favour of ‘skinny dipping’ without having to feel embarrassed in any way.

Before descending the ridge we stopped for the remainder of the sandwiches, spotting some more Grey Rhebuck at the same time.

The walk down was very pleasant with good views. There is good rock art in a small valley near the office, but as we had already walked about 22kms, we agreed to explore that on another occasion.

We arrived back at the car at about 4.30pm. It was amazing how Philip instinctively knew we were entertaining thoughts of cold beer by that time!

A wonderful day was had by all, with good company. Philip is still the best leader I have ever walked with. Thank you!



Any more converts to the Solo Hiking Club?

That was quite a funny writeup, thanks for that

Philip wrote: Any more converts to the Solo Hiking Club?

No - I never enjoyed hiking solo. But I do take the point that club politics etc are annoying and take our focus off what we all join the clubs to do.

To quote a British wargamer:

as the internet became more prevalent the need for all the byzantine bureaucracy went away

But I digress...

I have done two multi-day trips and many day trips on my own. Multi-day. One to the contour path above Zeni Cave, and the other to Sleeping Beauty Cave. On the second trip, by the third day though even the echos of my voice in the cave were starting to have conversations with themselves and it was time to get back.

Having said that though, it was a difficult trip with deep snow, I was just getting over flu and tired, had only 3 days before traveled back from oz, and st2 could not make it. So my mind was not quite right and i was a bit frustrated with things. I recon all things being equal though 4 days would likely be enough to purge myself of society. Then, Castaway is also another of my fav movies.

But back to the topic...

Philip wrote: The ‘Solo Hiking Club’ really does exist.

Any more converts to the Solo Hiking Club?

Yes Sir.

It has to do with I guess the following:
- I get a good mental recharge out of it.
- Most solo hikes, usually long one day'ers, are done on weekdays. (Yes my work schedule is a bit flexible). Hard for others to join me on these.
- Things that interest me does not necessarily interest others. It is however very easy to convince the members of my solo hiking club to do these, sometimes absurd, routes.